I have some bad news and some worse news

Well it was going to be all good news... This is how the story goes, I was looking at the Toranto Star (link) and I saw this headline: Kerry would close U.S. border to Canadian trash and I thought "w00t no more Bryan Adams or Alex Trebek." On closer inspection I found that he actually meant trash. That was the bad news. The worse news is that I think that I need glasses now because I can't read anything more than six feet away.