Life is funky

Funky as in it sucks the balls of a ten year moose whose antlers are only reflective on its small and dagger like cock. Anyway I haven't gotten wasted in such a long time, I think my liver is actually recovering. I could definitely use some Bacardi to put my liver into the dark yet pleasant age. During the time that I have been sober I have noticed some very stupid things, which not only assure me that there is no hope for humanity, but also that I was better off wasted.

• The commercial line for Sour Starburst is, and I quote "use responsibly."WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN? How the hell are you suppose to use candy irresponsibly? Are you stupid enough to choke on a lifesaver? OR are you incredibly depressed and try to strangle yourself with taffy?
  
• Next thing that I noticed that when I was finally sober is that people are getting ass implants! Why the hell would you do that? What, just in case you need a flotation device during the next great flood?
  

Well...That's enough for now! I am going back to sleep and hoping that everything becomes better.